Consider this my acknowledgement of the fact that I haven’t posted since… holy crap! August 10! And that was the day that so much happened 🙂

Anyway, I have a lot of boy-related news to share with you. And I’m apologizing in advance: this is kind of long. But I didn’t want to make you wait to hear all the details by making this a multi-part story.

For those of you who may have forgotten where we left off, I last told you all that I finally admitted my crush on my coworker. I’m calling him Company Ink (CI for short) for now until I think of a better nickname. Well, after inviting me over to his house that next night to watch a movie (which we actually watched, thankyouverymuch!), we spent hours making out on his couch.

I then proceeded to spend every available moment with him the rest of the weekend.

The most amazing part about everything is just how normal and natural it all feels. That anticipation as he leaned in for the first kiss– since I was finally sending the “I’m truly interested” and “OMG! Kiss me!” signals– and everything has flowed without any hesitation. Spending the entire weekend with him didn’t feel overwhelming or like we were going to fizzle out once reality hit (aka work the next day).

Even when we went rock climbing with his good friends on that Sunday, it was not a big deal that we were dating. It made sense to them and was kind of expected. Apparently, he had been lamenting to these friends about how he couldn’t figure out if I liked him or not, and even got them involved in trying to figure me out… As I explained to CI later, it wasn’t that I didn’t like him. It was the fact that I work with him that was my big hold-up. So they were never going to figure me out!

We’ve had quite a good laugh over how I just couldn’t figure out what to do. And my mom was appalled about just how mixed my signals actually were: I invited him over to my house to watch a movie in the middle of the day, but then cancelled on dinner when he was clearly asking me out on a date. I went to the Cherry Creek Arts Festival with him, but would drag coworkers along with us when he asked me to go to lunch. And that’s just the beginning. He sure is lucky (and relieved) I finally made up my mind!

My biggest anxiety about dating him was the fact that WE WORK TOGETHER! But come to find out? It’s really no big deal. I see him in the hallway, I chat with him just like I had before, and we give each other quick pecks on the lips when no one is around. (Let me just state for the record: soundless, quick kisses are completely disappointing… but that’s what we have to do for now since we still haven’t told anyone at work yet). So far, there’s not much difference between before and now– which is exactly like it should be. We have been able to maintain our professional/business relationship and keep our personal life outside of work hours. Well, except for the covert pinch I gave him in the elevator with all our coworkers around 😉

I’m really happy with how things have gone and it’s happened like I would have wanted– I was friends with him for almost 9 months before something romantic happened. Meaning: we were friends first. We know we can talk easily, we have a lot in common, and we connect on a deeper level than just physical attraction. I’ve dated guys where there really was no depth, and it was so unsatisfying on an emotional level. Instead, now I have someone I know I like to talk to and we can spend hours talking and hanging out– and it’s never strained or filled with awkward silences.

One of my favorite things has been that making plans has not felt stifling or overwhelming. He emailed me a link the other day that had a hotel deal in the mountains that we can go away for the weekend. So in a few weeks, I’ll be in Beaver Creek enjoying the views of the changing aspen trees and wandering a ski town I’ve never been to. We’re also talking about going to New York City for a weekend some time in November. Our company has every other Friday off, so it makes it really easy to plan long-weekend getaways really easily! He even told me, after a second-failed attempt to win “Book of Mormon” tickets, that we could just go see it on Broadway when we’re there…

So after spending most weekends together (when one of us isn’t out of town) and a couple of nights a week, we finally had THE talk.

We had spent 8 hours at Wash Park on Labor Day with a bunch of friends. My sister was introducing CI to her friends and she ended it with “he and my sister are…. dating?” He told me about the conversation on Tuesday and that was the catalyst that was needed to talk about what we were calling each other/what we were doing. We’d talked a couple of weeks ago about what we were looking for, so we knew at least we were on the same page there.

So, over some mediocre sushi, CI officially became my boyfriend!

To continue our natural progression of our relationship, even that conversation was simple, easy, and natural. It wasn’t dramatic or anxiety-filled. We knew we liked each other, we’ve been spending a lot of time together, and we want things to go to the next level.

Even though I don’t really like labels, especially that of boyfriend/girlfriend, because they sound cheesy and weird (which I explained to my mom that I now understand why Dan Savage calls Terry his “huuusband” on his podcast) I call CI my “buhfriend” (it sounds better if you hear it).

Company Ink has already been to 2 family nights, and tonight will be the third. It’s also the last family dinner The Roommate will be at for a while, but that’s for another post. I’m basking in the happy thoughts of me and CI and I’ll get to the “I’m really going to miss her” emotions and blogging tomorrow.

For now, I’m happy 🙂

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I probably shouldn’t admit this since my track record for talking about crushes is less than stellar.

But I have to get this off my chest.

I’ve developed a crush on the Sales Manager/Engineer at my office. He’s 29 (almost 30), a fellow CSU-alum, and we have gotten along since the minute he walked into our office.

It’s also clear that he has a crush on me as well, and has for quite some time.

I’ve never had to deal with inter-office romances because my old job was working with a bunch of men who were married and most could be my dad.

So I just spent the last 5 hours at a happy hour with him and neither of us noticed how much time had passed. Except that the sun had gone down, that was our only indication of how late it was. And all of our conversations are that easy and stress-less.

What do I do about this? Do I let something happen between us?

I have been aware of his affections from day one, but have (unintentionally) sent mixed signals about my feelings in return. Up until recently, I felt completely platonic towards him, but for some reason, those platonic feelings have morphed into romantic feelings.

Take tonight for example. I went with him back to our office so he could grab his computer, and my first thought was “how scandalous this could  be!” Then, as I was standing and looking out over the western horizon of city lights from our conference room, he joined me and my thought was “this could be incredibly romantic… I wonder what it would be like to kiss him…”

Nothing happened, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that I didn’t pay attention at all to what he said to me and was instead playing out fantasies in my head while he was talking. I mean, really. We were in a dark, empty office all by ourselves!

As I said before, I don’t know what to do. Has anyone ever dealt with this? I have friends who met because he was her intern and now are married, so I know it can work out in the end. Could it work out for us? Can it not be awkward? Or is the possibility of the drama that would occur if things don’t work out enough of a deterrent and it should be avoided at all costs? Please! Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated!

Thankfully The Roommate likes this guy, so I already have approval there. The Lawyer is also on board with it, too, but I think that’s more about winning a bet with himself about the fact that something happened when I so adamantly insisted that it never would.

For now, I’ll let it ride out and see where it goes. But I know those butterflies that have taken residence in my stomach wont let me forget my feelings any time soon… sigh…

Sorry to keep you all waiting to see if VD was really Mr. Darcy…

I’m sad to report: VD is not just a visual douche, he is a full-fledged douche to the Nth degree!

Is anyone surprised?

I should say that the overall flow of conversation during the date was some of the better first-date conversations I’ve had. I can’t tell you how bored I am with the typical first date questions– “where are you from?” “What do you do for work?” “Tell me about your family…” So because of his better conversational skills, I stupidly let my guard down more than I should have.

And because of that, I completely missed his come-on that told me that all he wanted was to get in my pants. It took me an embarrassing amount of time to really put 2 and 2 together.

I wrote a blog post a while ago about what topic of conversation you ALWAYS bring up on a first date. My answer, in case you don’t want to click through to the old post, is food– more specifically, cooking and eating. If a guy walks away from a date and doesn’t know I like to cook and that I’m a total food snob, then that is definitely a failed date.

Anyway, I mentioned the fact that I like to cook to VD, and after our waitress asked us for the 10th time if we want to order food, he recommended that we cook together THAT NIGHT. Through his explanation, I realized that not only was he not going to be buying me dinner, he wasinviting himself over to my house! On the first date!I could hardly hear the rest of our conversation over the warning sirens going off in my head.

When I told him I had no desire to cook dinner that night (and definitely not to come over to my house!), he suggested that our next date be a cooking date at my house… because even though he “totally loves to cook too!” he doesn’t own a saute pan or a wooden spoon…

Seriously, if you’re going to try and woo a foodie, you shouldn’t show that you’re completely full of shit so early in the game.

After about two hours, he told me that he did, in fact, have to go meet a client for dinner. By then, it was 8:00 and I hadn’t eaten since lunch. I was FAMISHED! We then asked for the check and VD told the waitress, “oh, I already closed my tab out.” I had gotten there a little late (minor emergency at work), so he had ordered his drinks and paid his tab– clearly there was never any intention of staying for dinner.

When the waitress brought my tab– all of $6– VD didn’t even make a move or word to pay for my drink. WTF?! He had just finished asking me to “cook with him” but wasn’t going to at least buy me a drink first? I mean, really…

We then walked out of the restaurant and when we got to the street corner, he told me “I’m parked that way.” Okay, that’s fine, I don’t need you to walk me to my car. It’s not like first dates are where you bring your “A” game or anything…

I then hugged him goodbye and told him I had a nice time. That’s when he didn’t let go and pulled me in for a kiss!

Now, I’ve kissed quite a few men in my life, but never once have I been surprised by a kiss. I pride myself on being able to read situations and men really easily, so I can anticipate what is about to happen. That definitely did not happen this time– my brain literally had to play catch-up and the thought “oh, I’m being kissed. I should kiss back!” actually ran through my head. It wasn’t a bad kiss, but seriously dude, read the situation!

I’ve finally learned what a “player” looks like.

And in case I had any questions about whether or not I misread him or his intentions, I got a text on Saturday night at 11:30pm asking what I was up to… SLEEPING! Thanks for waking me up, though. I really appreciate that.

 

 

As I mentioned in Part 2, I spent the next day recovering from “being sick.”

When we got back to A’s house, I was so hungry I could have eaten my arm. I’d had about 1/4 of a burger at Cruisers because we (being the guys) spent too long getting ready that we ran out of time to get a real dinner and 2 burgers were shared between 6 people… We all ate pizza when we got back to A’s and then A and I went into his room. We then were up until 4am…

Our connection and attraction is/was through the roof. We spent a lot of our time just staring at each other. I never thought I’d find someone who fit my “type” so exact. I thought I had this unattainable image of someone in my head, but here he was, laying next to me, wanting to be with me!

After sending a vague “not feeling well” text to my boss, I was able to get a few hours of sleep. We all finally got up around 10am and ate breakfast. I was invited to go to Water World with all the guys, and since sunshine and water are good things for health, it was just what the doctor ordered!

We spent the day at Water World, the guys talking me into going down scary slides (I’m pathetic when it comes to resisting peer pressure), and getting just enough sun to not be noticeably different the next day at work– the last thing I needed was a really good tan to give my “sick day” away.

I couldn’t keep my hands off A all day. I just couldn’t help myself! He was all wet and tan and toned—how could I not want to touch him constantly?

Over the next few days, A and I texted and called non-stop. The weekend came and we spent a majority of it together. His friends were still in town, so I got to know them more as well. They’ve all been friends since high school, so the commitment level and loyalty among that group of men is pretty admirable.

Speaking of that loyalty, A was still feeling uneasy about Mr. Dad not knowing the full extent of what was going on between us. He finally called Mr. Dad and told him about us– apparently it was no surprise to Mr. Dad that A was pursuing me since he was pretty up front/obvious about his attraction to me.

Since then we’ve been texting every day and hanging out at least once a week. I have a difficult time pacing myself when I like someone, so I’m having to refrain from calling him at every free moment to see if he’s available.

Not only do I think he’s drop-dead gorgeous, I also feel like A and I are so compatible. We have the same tastes in music, in food, similar backgrounds, almost identical views on life and how life should be lived. But there’s enough of a difference (age difference being a big one… did I mention he’s 36?) in our lives that we can talk and teach and expose each other to so many new and different things. He makes me laugh and we can carry a conversation with complete ease. So far, I’m really into him (as if I needed to clarify that).

I like him, he likes me. It’s that simple. I don’t need to know where this is headed (at least not today), and I don’t need to stress myself out about the content of a text message. I can enjoy the time I spend with A, and feel secure in the fact that I see him taking time out of his life to spend time with me, and I fit him in when I can. I need to just let myself enjoy the now and not worry so much about the future. It’s been just about a month, so right now all I need to do is enjoy the time we spend together and the intensity of his kisses.

I’m still trying to navigate the don’t-dive-head-first-but-don’t-be-stand-off-ish waters, but I feel like I’m doing an okay job so far. I just need to tell myself to chill the f*ck out and enjoy myself!

And enjoy myself I do!

When the crush on A started, I realized it was a mutual attraction (it doesn’t hurt that guys don’t tend to be very hard to read…). He was always so attentive when I came over, even if Mr. Dad was there, and would always put on my favorite band, 30 Seconds to Mars. Never heard of them? Oh my gosh, check them out! He was always complimenting me and engaging me in conversation. Even the texts I would send him when I got home safely from Cruisers would result in about a half-dozen texts back and forth saying goodnight…

After I broke things off with Mr. Dad, I had the awkward task of trying to maneuver a friendship with A and him potentially having to stick to the “Bro-Code” and have nothing to do with me. I didn’t want to blow my chances with A, but I also wanted to respect the fact that Mr. Dad and A have been friends for 20 years.

Thankfully I realized my anxiety was unfounded when I got a text from A to come pick up my bike so I wouldn’t have to ride it home by myself after Denver Cruisers that night. He showed up at my house to pick up my bike, and even in his ratty shorts and a t-shirt, I wanted to pounce him. But I refrained… barely….

I then drove to his house and met up with him and his friends. We all went to Cruisers, me being the only female in a group of 5 guys. We had a blast and when we got to The Circle of Death (yes, it’s that awesome!), A and I went to find some food. As we were walking, I told him about ending it with Mr. Dad. He told me he wasn’t surprised but reiterated that Mr. Dad was a great guy (not that I ever said he wasn’t). I was just thankful he didn’t respond with any sort of “well, we can’t hang out any more,” or “Mr. Dad asked that I not see you any more,” which is what I was afraid of.

After a while, the crowd started to break up and head to the final bar of the night. The guys, now well on their way to being drunk, convinced me to call in sick and come out with them. Because I was feeling so ill (*wink*), I decided that was a fun idea.

I rode with them to the bar where A and I started flirting hard-core. He finally professed his attraction to me, but he was feeling reluctant to do anything because of his friendship with Mr. Dad.

After a few minutes, he leaned over and kissed me! It was a small, short kiss, but enough to give my adrenaline a jolt.

He sure got over that reluctance pretty quickly…

We then spent the rest of the evening flirting, kissing, and being nauseatingly PDA-ful. Thankfully his friends were too drunk to care one way or the other.

It’s been heartbreaking how many guys are atrociously terrible at kissing, but that was not the case with A. A’s kisses were perfect. As I kissed him, I couldn’t get enough of him. I didn’t want them to stop!

I mentioned before that I haven’t dated guys who are my “type.” While kissing A, I realized just how stupid that was. Until that moment, I never realized how important it is to be completely attracted to the person you are with. It adds another layer to the attraction that cannot be contrived or even faked. I wanted to wring my fingers through his curly hair and never let go. I didn’t want the night to end. I’ve never felt that level of attraction before!

We all finally rode back to A’s house where I didn’t get to sleep until 4am… because I was so sick, of course 😉

The final installment and how I spent the day recovering coming up…