August 2012

Last December, The Roommate and I came home to a gift card left in the non-working mail slot by our door. There was no note, no indication of who left it. The Roommate and I used the gift card, of course, but then completely forgot about it.

THREE MONTHS go by and I get a text from A (yes, I’m talking about him again) asking if I got a gift card a while ago. He had introduced me to the ice cream shop when we were dating, so he was my only guess as to who had left it.

He explained that he left it because he felt bad about how things ended with us (he just stopped talking to me… really mature…). What I wish I had texted in reply: “Yeah, and that’s really the way to show your remorse– leaving an anonymous gift card and waiting three months to tell me who left it. The apology totally came across…”

But I never said that. And I never asked him what the hell he was thinking. The truth is, I really don’t care why he left it. All I saw it as was FREE ICE CREAM!

That was back in March and that was the last time I really interacted with him.

So you can imagine my surprise when The Roommate and I got home from running errands on Saturday and there was a bottle of local organic ketchup sitting on our doorstep.

Our first thought was, “did A leave this?” But seriously, why would he leave us ketchup?

Our next idea was that it was one of our friends who we recently had over for Gourmet Club and someone made a homemade curried ketchup (it was amazing!) But after texting all of them and our family members, no one had any idea what we were talking about. And I’m sure they got a good laugh at our expense.

Lo and behold, 3 months ahead of schedule, I got a text from A last night asking if I got a ketchup delivery.

I should mention: I don’t have an affinity for ketchup, I’ve never mentioned liking it (enough to want a special bottle of it), and I sure as hell never mentioned it to A. So, I ask: WTF?

Actually, what I asked was, “yes I did, but there was no indication of who it was from… if it’s from you, why not leave a note or text as soon as you leave it?”

His response… you’ll never believe this… was: “That was supposed to be part of the mystery… because I wanted to see if you were a mystery solver.”

Again, WTF?!?!

I’d be the first to admit that in my pretend life, I’m a CSI detective, but what’s his deal? What part of him leaving ketchup is supposed to help me just figure out it was him? I mean, the ice cream card made sense since he was the one who introduced me to them, but ketchup? WHY KETCHUP??

This is just further proof that I will never truly understand men.

I probably shouldn’t admit this since my track record for talking about crushes is less than stellar.

But I have to get this off my chest.

I’ve developed a crush on the Sales Manager/Engineer at my office. He’s 29 (almost 30), a fellow CSU-alum, and we have gotten along since the minute he walked into our office.

It’s also clear that he has a crush on me as well, and has for quite some time.

I’ve never had to deal with inter-office romances because my old job was working with a bunch of men who were married and most could be my dad.

So I just spent the last 5 hours at a happy hour with him and neither of us noticed how much time had passed. Except that the sun had gone down, that was our only indication of how late it was. And all of our conversations are that easy and stress-less.

What do I do about this? Do I let something happen between us?

I have been aware of his affections from day one, but have (unintentionally) sent mixed signals about my feelings in return. Up until recently, I felt completely platonic towards him, but for some reason, those platonic feelings have morphed into romantic feelings.

Take tonight for example. I went with him back to our office so he could grab his computer, and my first thought was “how scandalous this could  be!” Then, as I was standing and looking out over the western horizon of city lights from our conference room, he joined me and my thought was “this could be incredibly romantic… I wonder what it would be like to kiss him…”

Nothing happened, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that I didn’t pay attention at all to what he said to me and was instead playing out fantasies in my head while he was talking. I mean, really. We were in a dark, empty office all by ourselves!

As I said before, I don’t know what to do. Has anyone ever dealt with this? I have friends who met because he was her intern and now are married, so I know it can work out in the end. Could it work out for us? Can it not be awkward? Or is the possibility of the drama that would occur if things don’t work out enough of a deterrent and it should be avoided at all costs? Please! Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated!

Thankfully The Roommate likes this guy, so I already have approval there. The Lawyer is also on board with it, too, but I think that’s more about winning a bet with himself about the fact that something happened when I so adamantly insisted that it never would.

For now, I’ll let it ride out and see where it goes. But I know those butterflies that have taken residence in my stomach wont let me forget my feelings any time soon… sigh…