After an enlightening conversation with my mom this weekend, and fateful timing of hearing John Mayer’s song “Say What You Need to Say,” I actually wrote a response to Funny Man’s email. She had asked me why I was still as emotional about him even though we didn’t date that long. My response to her was: “I never got the closure I needed.” After a long conversation, we talked through how I could email him and tell him how I felt without sounding hysterical or over-reacting. I’m disappointed and bummed out, and that was the true cause of my frustration. But in no way was I going to excuse his behavior or sugar-coat how I feel. And I’m a blunt person (just as my sister), and my response shows that.

So, I wrote out the email, had The Roommate read it and give her feedback, and sent it this morning. I’m hoping this will finally take that dread out of the pit of my stomach when I run into him, think about him, or he is mentioned by mutual friends.

I really hope this gives me the closure I so badly desire:

 

Funny Man—

It was a surprise to get your long-overdue email. While I appreciate the sentiment, I wish you had taken actual responsibility for your actions. Your dishonest behavior was deliberate and intentional– and leaving information out of our interactions didn’t “just happen.”

I’m very disappointed in how you handled things and how you treated me. You were one of my favorite people to be around and I liked being your friend– I know I told you more than once how much you made me laugh. And now, because of your inexcusable behavior, we can’t even be friends.

All it would have taken would have been a short, albeit uncomfortable, conversation telling me what was going on and where things stood. I honestly believe that if you had done that, we could have stayed friends and all of this could have been avoided. Instead, you deceived me and led me on—and that was just cruel.

I hope that you really do feel as bad as you said you do. And because of this experience, I hope you have learned to treat women with respect and have learned the importance of having open and honest communication with them.

I wish things had turned out differently and you had treated me better and with an ounce of respect. I really am disappointed in you—I truly expected more.

Kate

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