June 2012


Guess what I’m doing tonight?

I’m going on a blind date!

And when I say blind date, I mean I only have a vague idea of what he looks like based on his LinkedIn profile picture and a site I found when I googled him… and I know his name and occupation. That’s all I know.

My sister met him and his friends out at a bar this last weekend while she was out for a friend’s bachelorette party. After a long conversation, my sister decided he was worthy of her stamp of approval. She then told him that her sister is single and that we should go out! So she got his number so I could call him.

For the first time in my life, I finally understand the agony of men in the dating world. Calling someone new is terrifying! I wanted to text him because it’s easier and way less scary.

But I called him!

I hoped and prayed that it would go to voicemail– I had the message rehearsed and everything. But no, he answered. He laughed when I told him who I was and we engaged in a brief conversation.

He then offered for us to go out for happy hour to actually meet in person.

So in an hour I’ll be sitting across from some guy my sister found for me and engaging in first-date banter… and “I’ve just met you” banter.

Well, I hope it’s banter. If it’s not, then the family stuff I (actually) have to leave for will miraculously happen earlier than planned.

But my sister is a pretty accurate and strict judge of character, so the fact that this guy passed whatever test she puts people through really tells me a lot about him.

Here’s hoping her radar continues to be spot-on!

 

Advertisements

I  haven’t been this excited about something in a very long time! And I’ve been waiting for the day when everything was done so I could share it with all of you!

As you all know, it was 4 years ago that I got married. And it was 3 years ago from June 12th that he moved out. Ever since then, my wedding ring has sat alone it’s box in my jewelry holder. It has my mom’s diamond in it, so the diamond holds a lot of sentimental value to me. I knew I wanted to do something with both the ring and the diamond, but never knew what.

Then my BFF’s sister got engaged.

Her fiance, who is an artist by job and trade (he’s a high school art teacher), designed a ring for her with a jeweler and it’s GORGEOUS! It’s beautiful and unique, just like his fiance.

That was the spark that I needed and the key to finding a jeweler who I could work with to do something about my wedding ring. I had picked it out (thankyouverymuch!) and I really like it! Selling it or just leaving it in the box forever were never even options. The ring doesn’t have a second band with it, so it would be easy to be able to wear it on my right hand and not look like a wedding ring.

So I set an appointment with the jeweler and drove the 45 minutes to her studio to get the ball rolling. I handed her my ring and told her I wanted an amethyst in place of the diamond but I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do with the diamond.

Here’s how it turned out:

Is it weird that as I was driving home, while I had my hand on the top of the steering wheel, I said out loud to my ring, “welcome home!”?

Wow, do I have my mom’s hands!

Changing out the stone in my ring was the easy part. Now, what to do with that diamond?

After going through lots and lots of gigantic catalogs and magazines, I gave the jeweler a very diverse idea about what style I like. And when I say diverse, I mean: I like swoopy, I also like angles, I also like bigger, I also want something smaller… That she was even able to figure anything out I liked shows her true talent!

One thing I was sure on was that I wanted a pendant of some sort that has the diamond as the central focus. And if it had other stones, I wanted lots of color.

A few weeks later, I met with her again to choose one of the half-a-dozen mock-ups that she had drawn. I moved around and touched a lot of precious gems and settled on a design and the stones and shapes I wanted.

I can’t remember the last time I was this eager about something!

I waited impatiently as she made my necklace.

And today…

I got to pick it up!

BEHOLD! The most beautiful and sentimental piece of jewelry I’ve ever owned:

What’s that? You want a close-up? Well, if you insist! (p.s. It’s super difficult to take a picture up close of something you’re wearing…)

I didn’t think about writing down all of the stones that are in it before I handed my parents the appraisal information to put in their safe, so I can’t tell you exactly what each of the stones are. I do know there’s a pink diamond, an emerald, a sapphire (possibly more than one, since I learned that sapphires come in more than one color (blue)). But see the diamond? It’s front and center, just like I wanted.

I love this necklace, I can’t even begin to describe how much!

I don’t usually get emotional about things, but I had to resist hugging the jeweler when I opened the box to see it. And then when I made a stop at my parents’ house to show it to them, I was thiiiiis close to crying.  I don’t know why this necklace ended up being that emotional for me, but I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

I’ve worked really hard on bettering myself over these last few years and, most importantly, to learn from the mistakes I made. The fact that my family and friends have stood by me as I’ve learned and grown, that has helped me become even stronger. This necklace is the embodiment all of that.

I love this necklace so much!!!

Now I’m going to go stare at it in the mirror some more…

—–

And because I’m so happy with the result (she in no way, shape, or form asked or paid me to say this), I’d love to recommend my jeweler: Cheryl Reiber Designs

I’m hoping by posting about my current feelings about my love life will help alleviate my frustration. So please bear with me…

I have great friends, a great job, a loving family and most of my evenings and weekends are packed. I would describe myself as happy and content with my life.

However…

I am extremely lonely.

Both my sister, who in the past has been the biggest relationship-phobe but is now in a full-fledged relationship, and The Roommate are dating men who fit them so well and I have seen how much joy they get from being in those relationships.

I look on their relationships with envy and really wish that I was with someone who made that much sense with me. Instead, I end up on dates with players, dickheads, crazies, and bores. Or on no dates at all.

And don’t get me wrong– I am so happy for my sister and The Roommate and can’t wait to see where their relationships end up (it’s like a real-life romantic comedy for The Roommate… and I have front row seats!). Their relationships show me that there are people out there who fit perfectly with another person. And it’s been so great to see the positive changes that have come from them being in those relationships.

I like dating, I like going out and meeting new people. First dates don’t give me any sort of anxiety and I’m never nervous about them– which helps me be relaxed and a good conversationalist. But I’m not meeting anyone who would be a good match for me.

Not by a long-shot.

I have a dating philosophy that says “I never say no to a request for a first date” (within reason, of course). My thought is that if a guy has had enough courage to ask me out on a date (or even for my phone number), I will oblige. And I will go with a positive attitude and hope that something comes from it. Unless I’ve known the guy for a while, how can I know how good of a match they’ll be for me if I don’t give them a chance?

But do I need to change that philosophy? Am I not being discerning enough, so I continue to end up disappointed more times than not? Or is that the “right” way to do it, and hope that eventually I’ll go out with “the one”?

And I’m not even asking for much at this point. I know that the shaming of single women is “you’re just being too picky,” which I honestly don’t think I am. At this point in time, all I’m looking for is someone who has a job, can carry a two-way conversation, I have chemistry with them, and he isn’t an asshole.

I feel like I’m too young to have to start lowering my bar/expectations. Or has 26 become the start for spinsters? Maybe it is– during a recent conversation with a friend, we started talking about how it’s nearly impossible to find someone who is not either: A) completely immature, B) recently divorced, or C) not looking for a relationship. Sounds like a list of the traits of my recent dates…

I don’t want to whine. I hate when people whine about “no one loves me!”

But I can’t seem to help myself. I’ve been doing everything I can to meet people out in my world (as opposed to online)– I’ve joined social groups, attended meetups, drank at networking happy hours, I’m currently captaining my kickball team, volunteering more– but none of that hasn’t seemed to get me anywhere. Yes, I’m making new/more friends, but any guys I meet at any of those get-togethers are unavailable, way older than I am, or sleazy.

I’ve been bound and determined to not get back into the online dating world because I REALLY want to meet someone “organically.” But more and more, I’m finding that that has really become nearly impossible.

Is online dating really the only way to meet anyone any more? Or should I continue to be a “Ted Moseby” and hold out hope that I’ll meet my future mister out about in my life?

I’m feeling down about this, and I refuse to let it bring my entire out-look on life down, but I also can’t shake the dark rain cloud that is lurking in the background, ready to swallow me if I give it more than a moment’s attention.

Thanks for listening to me whine. Hopefully getting this off my chest will help me get past it and just live my life and tell that dark cloud to go away.

To help cheer me up (and tell you where the title reference came from), I’m hoping Winnie the Pooh will help: