This is one of my favorite songs, not just because it’s a catchy tune, but because it’s a really good reminder that life is not a romantic comedy and it’s not going to turn out like we think or plan.

But I can’t help but wish and dream that my next (and hopefully final) relationship will start off with some cute, romantic-comedy meet-cute where we eventually ride off into the sunset, living happily ever after. I can’t seem to shake the fantasy out of my head.

Where’s the line between hope, having a standard, and just being ridiculous? My very logical side of my brain knows that things like a movie don’t happen in real life. But my hopelessly romantic side of my brain seems to spin a very convincing tale to convince my logic, and before I know it, I’m daydreaming a full-fledged fantasy that looks eerily similar to Return to Me, minus the whole heart-transplant thing.

I can’t seem to help myself. And then my expectations are completely out of whack because I start to insist men respond and act like the men in the movies. It’s completely unfair to the men I date, and it’s a complete downer for me when the men don’t match up. It’s ridiculous that I do that!

I know I need to just let the men be themselves and find one that meshes with me in a way no other man has, but I just can’t seem to shake that fantasy man from the back of my mind.

It’s frustrating and unfair to everyone involved, and I can’t figure out how to just let it go. The men I date are flawed humans, just like me. I cannot put the expectations on them that I wouldn’t want put on me. I wouldn’t want the pressure to live up to some skewed fantasy of a guy that in no way aligns with reality.

If I want a man to love me for me, I need to love him for him. Plus, as the best friend, Paul, in (500) Days of Summer says, “Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She’s real.” I can create the most incredible, dark-skinned, dark-haired man I can imagine in my mind… but he’s not real. It is a complete waste of time and energy thinking about it. There are great men out there who, if I give them half a second’s chance, can show me that they are better than my fantasy man because they are real, their kisses are real, and the connection we have is real.

Now if only my logical side would just tell my hopeless romantic side to shut the hell up!

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