Because my answer for this is in between today’s topic and tomorrow’s (someone I need to let go of, or wish I didn’t know), I’ll revise the title of today’s post to: Day 09- Someone I Didn’t Want to Let go, but Needed to.

In college I befriended a couple who I came to absolutely adore! They opened my eyes to a new way of looking at the world, religion, church, friendship… everything. They were significantly older than I was and I fed off of their wisdom and life experiences. They led the kind of life I was striving for– full of love, not bogged down by material possessions, and willing to go or do whatever they feel called to do, no matter where or what that led them in life.

Over the course of 3 years, I grew so incredibly close to them– I would come over/just drop by to just hang out, I babysat their kids, I spent my 21st birthday at their house after my roommate at the time ruined my evening, and we even talked of  moving out of the country together.

However, as the end of my college career  drew closer, things started to fall apart. Real personalities shone through. Feelings were hurt, misunderstandings exploded into full-on wars. We stopped hanging out, we stopped calling or emailing, and they didn’t come to my wedding. All of a sudden, the friendship I had grown to love was now in a pile of pieces at my feet. I tried everything I could to put the pieces back together, but the pieces no longer fit together.

To say I was heartbroken is an understatement. These people who I had loved and adored were no longer the people who I thought they were– and I’m sure they could say the same thing about me. We had grown and changed so much over the last few years that we no longer meshed in the same, harmonious way we had in the past.

After they didn’t come to my wedding, I had to accept the fact that there was no friendship left to revive. I had to let that friendship go, knowing it was for the best. I had to accept that the person I was now no longer fit with the people they had grown into. I had to let them go and be a part of the story of my past, not in my present or future. I had to let them go. I had to let the friendship and the person I was with them go.

I miss the friendship we had. I miss the nights drinking and smoking on the patio. I miss knitting and watching Numbers, and playing around with their two kids. They helped me morph and grow into the person I was starting to transform into. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have had the strength to go out on a limb and stretch myself farther than I could ever imagine.

But in the end, the friendship had run it’s course. It still makes my heart sad that they couldn’t continue to be a part of my life, or me part of theirs. I miss them, but know it was for the best.

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