But the best thing so far– my coworkers!

To say that my old job was “toxic” would be an understatement. The VP of land is the boss from hell and even though he really holds no seniority over any of the other management (or anyone not in the land department), everyone catered to his every whim and temper-tantrum. I had a couple of friends in the office, as well as some allies, but to say I enjoyed my job or where I worked would be a lie.

The breath of fresh air that my new coworkers bring is so incredibly rejuvenating, I can’t even begin to describe how amazing they are. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor after the simple act of one of the upper-management guys joining my other coworkers in taking me out to lunch on my first day. It’s small things like that which shows the true character of an office and people in general.

It’s a VERY small office, but everyone seems to get along and like working together. And that is so foreign to me– it’s taking me a while to get used to it. I never realized how closed off and stuffy my old office was until I started at my new job.

I’m now looking forward to going to work and seeing my coworkers (instead of counting it a good day if I only had to interact with the VP of land once that day).

This new chapter is going to be AMAZING!

I have never felt so anxious but excited about something in my life– and I’ve walked down the aisle…

It’s strange just how true the sentiment is about this being the next chapter of my life. It’s amazing how much my life can be easily broken into “chapters.”

This new job has my mind going in a million directions and I can’t seem to focus. It’s been a while since I’ve had to squelch the overwhelming desire to be perfect. I feel that I’ve gotten a better handle on dealing with it in a romantic relationship, but it’s a new sensation to be feeling this in regards to my job.

I want this new job to be perfect, I want my coworkers to be perfect, and I never ever want to let them down. I want to be the perfect, best, most awesome engineering tech they’ve ever seen.

But I know I’m not perfect, I will end up letting them down at some point, and I’ll build relationships with my coworkers just like I did at my old job.

Wish me luck on my first day of work in 2 months. It’s going to be a very interesting and refreshing ride!

I’ve gone on some of the most boring dates, dated guys who my friends still make fun of me about, dated guys who have the maturity level of a 13 year-old, and then, very rarely, I’ve dated guys who surprise me by being mature and understanding.

It’s unfortunate that it’s been a rarity to find a guy who could be labeled “mature,” even when they’re in their 30s…

After a few long and confusing weeks, Funny Man and I have come to an agreement.

There is an undeniable connection between us, which sparked things to happen between us over the last few weeks. However, things being what they are, we’ve had to put things on hold for a few months while life stops being so crazy.

I don’t know if I’m actually okay with it, but it’s better than having to sit around being frustrated about how things aren’t happening the way I want them to. I’ve dated enough to know how things should happen in the “normal” progression of a relationship and those things weren’t happening. I’m strong enough in myself to be able to move on and know that I deserve more/better than I was getting.

So hopefully after a few months, and I haven’t found someone else in the meantime, Funny Man and I will have a “Take-Two.” But if that doesn’t happen, I will be able to look back and compliment FM for being an adult about the situation– by making a simple phone call and being honest about himself and what he’s able to do/give.

Dating is anything but predictable. So stay tuned…

I GOT A NEW JOB!

After being unemployed for a month and a half, I was offered a job at a start-up oil and gas company in Denver.

I am slightly hesitant to be at another small company– 6 people to be exact– because working at a  small company was what screwed me over. But even in my initial interview, I was told that they were trying to do something different.  The HR woman told me that they even get the input from everyone about new policies, just to make sure everyone has a voice and feels included. That’s a huge step up from my old company who didn’t even have a maternity-leave policy in place and made it up on the fly as soon as one of the young female employees got pregnant (and it’s one of the worst policies I’ve ever heard… big surprise).

I’m very excited about this opportunity, and I know I will learn a lot. The engineer at my old company, who I owe getting this job to because of his recommendation to the operations manager, told me there was so much more he wanted to teach me if I had been able to stay at my old job AND they had promoted me to a tech like I asked. So this will be a great opportunity to learn those things and increase my understanding and skill-set for the future.

I start on January 23. I can’t wait for that day to come– I am so tired of sitting at home on the couch!

It’s a new year, so new and great things are going to happen! It’s only January 10 and I already know this year is going to kick 2011′s ass.

In light and celebration of my new job, I will leave you with this video– possibly my favorite song ever. (Could there be a more appropriate song?)

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My long-time best friend will not hesitate to tell anyone about my notorious stalking of PK (Pastor’s Kid– rightly named since that is, in fact, what he was) in high school. I’m serious, I literally stalked him in the hallways of my school. What can I say, I loved him! (He holds the record for longest crush with nothing happening– 5 YEARS!)

Since I’ve been single, it’s been rare that I develop a crush. What has tended to happen is that a guy asks me out on a date, we possibly date for a while, and then it’s over. I haven’t had to sit on the sidelines for very long (if at all) because something happens romantically between us fairly quickly. So the sitting and getting butterflies in my stomach at the mere thought of someone or the random Facebook comment that causes me to be “all a flutter” hasn’t really  happened to me.

I had a small crush on A (remember him?), but as I just said, I didn’t have to wait long for things to develop between us when I realized I liked him more than a friend.

BUT!

A is not who I want to talk about.

I’m telling you all this because I have developed the BIGGEST crush on a guy who I will call Funny Man. I cannot tell you how often he makes me laugh and how easily it happens. Spending time with him has made me realize just how infrequently I find my dates/boyfriends amusing. Yes, we can joke around, but to have someone cause my stomach to hurt from so much laughing is extremely rare. And that’s what Funny Man does.

I’ve been friends with FM for about a year. I play in a energy sports league– we do bowling in the winter, kickball in the summer and flag-football in the fall. It’s composed of only oil and gas people and their significant others. Anyway, FM was on my bowling team last year and I had a small crush on him the minute I met him. He was just getting out of a serious relationship, so I steered clear of him. I was also dating the most boring guy at the time, so FM apparently didn’t make a move either. (FM has given me endless shit about having dated that guy… and it’s rightly deserved.)

My relationship with FM has been purely platonic since we met, and I was fine with it…  until about a month and a half ago. I went to his birthday celebration and I realized I wished to be more than just friends as we shared a chair at the bar we were at. The entire sides of our bodies were touching and I suddenly couldn’t breathe… my heart started racing and I got all nervous.

What was happening? FM is my friend! I don’t feel that way about my friend… do I?

Since then, I haven’t been able to get him out of my head. I have even hung out with him for hours (yeah, including sitting on his couch until 11:00 at night…) and nothing happened. But there seems to be something there. I think…

As I was lamenting about my feelings to The Roommate, I had a revelation.

You know what I said about having had crushes on guys for practically my entire life? I’ve also been the object of crushes more times than I can count. I’ve been friends with a lot of guys and have also dated a lot. Needless to say, I know guys pretty well and I can read them like an expert. It doesn’t help that guys tend to be REALLY easy to read.

But that’s what is tripping me up with Funny Man. I am not able to read him accurately and it’s driving me insane. It’s usually pretty obvious if a guy likes me and I can react whichever way I feel (I can plead ignorance if I don’t like him back or reciprocate the feelings and we end up dating). But with FM, he acts and talks like he likes me, but he doesn’t actually do anything about it. I should mention that he is one of those people who is a natural flirt. He flirts with everyone and is extremely friendly, so then I doubt myself and wonder if I am reading him all wrong.

So he’s left me confused. During a texting conversation the other day, he mentioned wanting to spend more time with me… but no date was set, no plans were made.

There’s a song by the band Say Anything called “Crush’d.” For the last couple months, that song has been on a constant loop in my head when I think about Funny Man. Well, more the chorus:

I have a total crush on you, baby
And I can’t let it go, oh no.
I have a total crush on you, baby
Baby, if only I could let you know.

It’s pathetic. I know. I like him and he sort of says he likes me too, but nothing is happening. I need to just let it go and if he wants something to happen, it’ll happen. If not, well, we can continue the way we are– just friends.

The Roommate said she’s cheering for him– he’s actually likeable and people want to be around him (who knew there were people like that!). If only he would pick up the phone and ask me on a date, I’d be his in a heartbeat.

But I need to take the (very accurate) advice from He’s Just Not That Into You and give him the space to ask me out. It’s actually quite sad how much my life is like the main girl in that movie… but that’s a post for another day.

I’ve been dying to get this all off my chest, so now it’s out there. I’m not afraid of jinxing it (although my track record is not very good in that department), I just want to send those hopeful vibes out into the universe. I need to take the logical stance and tell myself “if it’s supposed to happen, it’ll happen. If not, nothing is lost.” But my logical side is fighting an uphill battle.

I wrote a 50,000 word novel in 30 days!

It’s the second time I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), and I’ve won both times.

I like my book a lot more than last year’s (projection much? omg!), so I’m actually looking forward to having other people read it. I got really emotionally involved in the story, and felt overwhelming emotion over the death of my characters. It was the perfect ending and it was symbolic and deep– it’s perfect. I was excited to get to the end before I even started, and I got annoyed that I had to get the story to the place where the ending was epic and fully understood. The rest of the rest of the story needed to happen to have the ending make sense. I’ve titled my story “Suit of Lights” which is what a matador’s costume is called (traje de luces). Oh, I guess I should mention that my story is about a matador in the 1930s. He was a bit of an asshole, but it made him dynamic and a bit more interesting. And my lead woman was spicy and fierce, so of course she was fun to write!

Speaking of endings… I have some bad news, which has also added to the reason I haven’t been as present.

Last Tuesday, I opened a letter sent to my office that was being sent back from a woman accepting my job, starting today (Dec. 5). I of course burst into tears and found out I was losing my job. It’s dramatic and frustrating– I never had a formal reprimand and got all of my work done. But that doesn’t matter, because here I am, sitting on my couch without a job.

So there’s that.

I have a lot of job prospects and a lot of people helping me look for jobs and talking to people. I’ve already applied to at least a half a dozen jobs and I’ve only been at this for 3 days. I’ve already been in contact (for at least a couple of months) with two recruiters for 3 different jobs, one of which I’ve even interviewed for, so hopefully something comes from those. I have my fingers crossed that I will have a new job by the beginning of the year. It’s the holidays, so I can’t expect to get any sort of job, or even an interview, during this time… but we’ll see.

Please send positive job vibes my way, I could really use them. But at least I got paid through the 15th, so I’m technically being paid to sit in my sweats on this snowy, freezing cold day It’s all about the silver lining, is it not?

I should clarify that I learned my lesson quickly about bringing an actual date to work parties… To avoid the questions of new dates at every company function, thankfully my sister is a willing “date”– the free (and delicious) food and booze is usually a strong draw.

Movies can be dealt with by just waiting for it to come out on dvd.

But plays are a very different dilemma. There is no dvd to wait for. It’s now or never.

I was able to go see “Spring Awakening” a few years ago because a meet-up group was going, so I didn’t have to attend alone. (P.S. I highly recommend going to see this play– it was so incredibly moving).

But this time I have no meet-up group and I have no date to go with me to see Lion King.

It’s in Denver for a limited time, so I had a choice to make– go by myself or not go at all.

Being a somewhat defiant “I don’t need no man” woman, I marched over to the Denver Center for Performing Arts (DCPA) and bought myself one ticket. Even though it was starting in a week, getting only one ticket was a genius plan because I managed to snag a pretty excellent seat– if I had a date, I would have had to buy a ticket for a Tuesday night in the very back of the top balcony. Which, for the DCPA, still is a pretty decent seat. The people just look a lot smaller. But, because I was by myself, I could choose the best seat and not worry about getting a second seat next to me.

It’s kind of a revolution for me to go to this play solo. Only if my sister isn’t working that night will I have someone to go to dinner with me. But because she doesn’t know if she’s available, I’m planning a solo night on the town.

I’m strangely okay with going alone to this.

I enjoy going to the theater and I can’t have my relationship status determine what I can/can’t do. If I’m going to be okay during the in-between times of having a guy in my life, I need to continue to do the things I love to do. And going to a play by myself is just one example of that.

Going to Spain by myself taught me that there is no shame in going or doing things alone. I enjoyed museums and monuments more than I would have if I had someone by my side. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted to do it.

Along that line of thinking, I will probably enjoy myself more at the play than if I had a date. I can focus and pay attention more to my dinner and to the play and not worry about whether or not the guy is truly enjoying himself or if he’s just saying that to please me.

But who am I kidding? I’d love to have a date to the theater because I think that is the all-time best date. However, just because there is no one on my arm, I can still go and enjoy myself immensely.

However, when you reach adulthood and start working 8-5 in some corporate job, friends just aren’t as easy to come by. Most people go to work, go home and don’t spend much time away from either of those places. Yes, you can meet and spend time with coworkers, but building a friend base outside of work is a lot more difficult.

It’s situations like this where I envy my sister the most. She seems to have an endless supply of friends and people to spend the evening with. She and I differ in the quality vs. quantity view of friendships, but at least she’s not sitting at home on a Friday night alone because all 3 of her friends are busy…

My friend who ran the Warrior Dash with me  moved to Phoenix for 3 months and it’s bringing to light just how few friends I spend time with on a regular basis. It’s nights like this last Saturday night that really motivate me to go out and make more friends. I have a core group of extremely close, “I know they’ll be there when I need it because they’ve proven that they will” friends, but I can’t rely on them to be my entire social life. I fear to be like Amy Farrah Fowler on “Big Bang Theory” a few weeks ago– begging Penny to not make her leave because Amy’s entire social life is dependent on Penny.

I’m a social person and I love planning events and get-togethers, but actually finding the people to spend time with can sometimes be the hindrance to a fun(er) night. But when I can’t find people to hang out with, nothing motivates me more to actually read the emails coming from meetup.com and go to networking happy hours.

I guess I get down about my friends every once in a while because I have a very different version of what I want my life and friends look like in my head than it is like in reality. I wish my phone was ringing off the hook with invitiations from people to hang out or a calendar full of social engagements that I didn’t have to plan all of. I love my current friends and when I actually go out and meet new people, it can be really fun. I just wish it was as seamless as it is in elementary school to make friends.

I guess I just have to take my own advice and step out of my comfort zone and continue to try and make new friends just like I keep going out to find dates. Wish me luck!

Paralyzingly shy.

Most people are unaware of this fact because as soon as I find someone I know or I finally relax, I turn into a chatty-Cathy. I pride myself on a pretty good conversationalist, so once I relax enough to talk to you, you’d never know my initial hesitation to approach you.

Let me give you an example: If I go to a networking happy hour, I spend the first 10-15 minutes standing awkwardly by the bar watching (and envying) groups of people who know each other, or are at least more at ease in these situations, chat and have a great time.

Only after a while do I start to relax or do I finally muster up the courage to talk to someone standing near me. Once I have that person I’m comfortable with, I spend the rest of the evening chatting with everyone, no hesitation present.

Even with my initial shyness (which = dread), I continue to go to these networking happy hours. Not only do they potentially help me in my career, they push me completely out of my comfort zone.

And for some bizarre reason, putting myself into situations that are scary, comfort zone-shattering, and awkward really empowers me.

That probably explains why I went to Spain all by myself. And why I go to these happy hours by myself. And why I move every year.

Beyond the empowering feeling, I’ve been trying to figure out the underlying WHY I do this to myself.  I mean, besides the fact that I’ve been able to meet some incredible people, do amazing things,  see things I’d never imagined I would see, and learn things I would never have learned otherwise.

Why do I not just stay in my comfort zone where it’s safe, protected, and predictable?

It’s safe there. It’s predictable. There’s nothing to fear, and…

It’s boring!

I fear becoming complacent, which might be an issue in and of itself, but I think it’s my true motivator. I want to be a dynamic person. I love being busy and doing lots of different things and if that involves putting myself out there, then so be it.

I’m a huge fan of meetup.com and all the different groups you can join. When I was first single, I went to a bunch of the events planned. I met a lot of people and went and experienced parts of Denver I never knew about before.

I love pushing myself and trying new things. If I were to sit at home and watch tv and movies all day, I would have hardly anything to bring to the table– except for a memorization of the tv guide.

Going new places, trying new things, meeting new people– that seems like the perfect life. If that involves moving to another city/state/country, changing jobs, joining new groups– bring it on!

I have a personal motto that revolves around the idea of never saying no to something new. It has helped immensely in my dating life, because I’ve gotten many a free meal from saying yes to any date. But I’ve also met an array of different people because of that. But it can even be as simple as trying new foods– escargot, anyone?

If you push yourself to do something that scares you, you grow as a person and you also walk away from the situation knowing you did something new. Challenging yourself in ways that you never have before changes you–how could you not want that?

I love change and I love trying new things. If I don’t change, I’ll never know the immense world I’m missing!

Because we found the idea via a blog, I will post a how-to for how we did it. Enjoy!

—

If you’re going to also embark on this crazy project here are some things you will need:

1) Someone who owns a lot of tools– saws, drills, paint brushes, gloves, safety goggles, etc.

- Bonus points if the person knows how to use said tools and can show you how to use them as well.

2) A LOT of patience

3) Enough space to sand, stain, cut and screw (hahaha)

4) A knack for catching opportunities to say: “that’s what she said”

5) Creative problem-solving skills for any/all problems that arise

Not knowing we’d need all that before we started, here’s what we did:

We researched architectural salvage places in Denver, which there are only 2, and went and got a door. We found one that had glass panes in it, so it was lighter and the glass looked cool in the center(ish) of the table. But come to find out, that also makes it a lot weaker and not as sturdy.

The door we got was an old patio door, so it was covered in paint. We wanted to have a natural-colored table, so now we had to use stripper to take it all off.

And scraped gently… Do not get that stuff on your skin.

After 3 rounds of stripper, and thousands of “that’s what she said” jokes, we could finally sand the door… Even if there was still snow outside (welcome to Colorado).

Make sure to get face masks– sawdust gets everywhere!

Once the door had been sanded and we told a thousand more “that’s what she said” jokes, we went to Home Depot and get 4 table legs. Strangely enough, when table legs aren’t attached to a table, they seem really short.

Anyway, we sanded those as well.

I just have to say, working with power-tools is so much fun! How come it’s only boys who are encouraged to use them? I think I might add a drill to my Christmas list…

After all of those had been sanded, it was time to stain. After testing different stains, we realized we liked the natural look of finishing, so we didn’t stain it at all.

We then mounted the legs onto the table (thanks dad!).

Be sure to not drill through the table… (*whew* that was one mistake we managed not to make!)

Once the legs are mounted, the table was usable.

What we thought was the last thing we had to do was put putty in all the windows since we scraped most of it out when we were stripping (hehehe) the table.

I had every intention of ordering glass to put over the table, but I kept putting it off. So we just had to get clever about where to put our plates and glasses.

After more than one dinner where I gave my dad the evil-eye for leaning too much on the table (meaning he was barely touching it), we realized we needed to add supports to the table. It would bow with the smallest amount of weight.

We had to brainstorm ways to mount 1×3′s to the table with brackets holding the table legs. It was helpful that my career involves working with numerous engineers– a couple of them gave me some great pointers. After a lot of measuring and routing, we got the 1×3′s ready to be mounted to the table and flush with the legs and each other.

After measuring out each side so the screws don’t hit (a lot harder than it sounds…), drill into the legs. This requires a lot more upper-body strength than I possess. We used a spade bit so we could cover the screw heads with “buttons” when we were done.

Next we drilled up through the board into the table. Again, don’t drill through the table!

It was amazing how much sturdier the table felt with the 1×3′s! And how much you can tell that the door and the 1×3′s are completely different wood… Oh well. As we’ve said throughout this whole process, it just adds more character.

The one good thing that came out of my brief relationship with A was that he “knows a guy” who sells glass for way cheaper than I was finding. Thankfully, after an awkward text messaging exchange with A’s dad, we got our glass delivered to our house. So if you have a way of finding cheaper glass, I highly recommend it! Dating cowards not recommended.

Once the screws were all tightened and the table was ready to go, we unwrapped the glass and gently placed the glass on the table. We put down rubber mounts so it doesn’t sit right on the wood.

We then put in “buttons” over the holes. We “stained” them with the same kind of finisher we used on the rest of the table.

And with that, we were done!

A HUGE thank you goes out to my dad, who, without his help and encouragement and teaching (and upper body strength), this table would still just be a door.

**Updated: If you would like to see all the pictures we took while making the door, go here. Enjoy!